Talking to Bernie and Kelly about the Youth Development
Programmes in schools 2004

Bernie
The Youth Development Programme was started in 1998, in response to a sharp increase in suicide amongst teenagers. Family life was fractured, there was a high rate of unemployment, HIV and AIDS were wreaking havoc within the community, and young people were suffering the fallout. Their feelings of self worth were at a low ebb. Many children had turned to drugs, the truancy rate was high and pupils were dropping out of school. Schools were experiencing problems with gangsterism and bullying and many young people were becoming victims. Of course, these and other issues are still present in schools today, but at that time there was not much in place to deal with these problems, and schools turned to organisations like LifeLine and Childline for assistance.

One thing that LifeLine and Childline had realised through its work with adolescents was that often children are more comfortable talking about their problems with their peers. We started with this idea and worked from there, to set up programmes in as many schools as possible.

Each school has different needs and we try to cater to these as much as possible. We offer two programmes, each of which runs for four to six weeks. Who Am I is adapted from LifeLine's Personal Growth Course, and the Peer Counselling Skills course has been developed to enable peer mediation and counselling. Sometimes we amalgamate these two programmes and run them as one course. Both courses are very participative and experiential, with no lectures, and lots of role-playing.

Once a school has approached us, we work out exactly what they need. If a school asks us to concentrate on a specific area of concern we highlight this during the time that we have with the learners. I then go in and deliver a short presentation about the course, to give learners some idea of what will be in store for them. In some schools, children sign up for the course, in others, the learners and school leaders identify whom they want to take the course and then we work with these learners. The learners who pass the course are awarded certificates at a special assembly, where they take a pledge in front of the whole school. We explain to the school how the peer counselling will work. A special room is allocated to the peer counsellors and a duty roster is worked out. Learners can go to their peers and talk to them about their problems. If needs be, peer counsellors then liaise with a teacher or school counsellor and take the situation from there. As with all work that we do, confidentiality is most important, and it is only with the permission of the learner that information is passed on. We return to the schools where programmes have been set in place, either to give the learners further training, or to ensure that everything is running smoothly.

Initially, when LifeLine and Childline started these programmes, I worked on Youth Development part-time, in addition to my other duties. However, the demand has been so great that I have since been put in charge of Youth Development on a full-time basis. As always, and I know that you'll hear this from anyone involved in any aspect of LifeLine and Childline work, manpower and finances are a stumbling block. In order to sustain the programmes we need to keep in touch with all the schools running them. The ideal would be to have a dedicated member of staff or a support officer in each school whom the peer counsellors can approach when they need help with problems that are too big for them to deal with on their own. The guidance counsellors do a wonderful job, but they already have a full workload. Teachers are overloaded, and asking them to take on a job like this as part of their portfolio is difficult. Maintenance of the programmes is often the most frustrating aspect of the work I do, that and having to turn away schools that need our services because we are already fully booked. It's sad to see a system that works so well, and which has achieved such positive results being crippled by financial and manpower restraints.

A recent Education Department mandate has stipulated that all schools must have a peer counselling system in place by 2005. With this in mind, I am hoping to work in partnership with a drama group that goes into schools and gets the learners involved in looking at social issues through drama. Drama is an incredibly powerful tool, and one that can unleash very powerful feelings in young people. These feelings need to be explored, and issues that surface in the drama workshops have to be dealt with. I hope to be able to set up Youth Development Programmes to follow on from the workshops. This would complete the circle, by providing an ongoing programme of support and counselling. Through this, teachers, counsellors and peer counsellors will be able to identify more youth at risk, youth who need long-term therapy, youth who need someone to intervene for them because of their family situations.

So many of the issues we deal with stem not from problems at school, but from problems within the family. The more I read about this, the more research I do, the more I realise that everything comes back to the family, to a child's background. Sadly, many parents do not seem capable of taking responsibility for their children's well being. It's easier to say yes than no, it's easier to accept what a child says at face value instead of probing a little deeper, to find out how they really are. The child who says he's okay when asked, is often not okay, but this isn't realised until it's too late, when the problems become too big to be ignored.

In many instances, parents need to realise that a child is only capable of dealing with a certain amount of power and control. It's up to the parent to establish boundaries, to know when to extend those boundaries. Parents do need to be flexible, they do need to be able to negotiate, and they have to acknowledge their children as people with needs and opinions. However, they also need to stay in charge. Teachers cannot be expected to fulfil the vital roles of parent and guardian. They may be able to identify and help a certain number of children, but they don't have the time or the resources to help all children. It's up to us as parents, if we don't want to see our children falling through the cracks.

One of my dreams is to see internal intercom phone systems set up inside the schools. In this way, learners could phone a peer counsellor, if they don't feel comfortable talking with them face to face. For many young people this could be the first step towards changing their lives. I'd like to see this idea expanded yet further as many young people feel that they are too old to call Childline, too young to call LifeLine. For the rest? I want to see the Youth Development Programme going from strength to strength. I'd love to train up a team of counsellors who could spread the load and so spread the positive benefits of these programmes in as many schools as possible. In all schools...


If you would like to find out more about the Youth Development Programme, please phone Bernie at the Bishop Lavis Centre : 021 934 4822

If you would like to make a donation to LifeLine/Childline Western Cape's Youth Development Programme, please click here.


Talking to Kelly

Kelly, a Grade 10 pupil, has recently completed the Who Am I and Peer Counselling Skills courses.

In August 2004 I put my name down for the Youth Development course. I had already done a peer counselling course when I was in junior school, directed mainly at being a peer mediator when fights broke out. There we learned about fight, flight and flow, and the ways in which different people react to conflict. The LifeLine/Childline course was also aimed at this, but it placed great focus on self-awareness and personal development. We attended five sessions, each two hours long.

I have benefited greatly from doing this course. I asked my mom and close friends if they had noticed any changes in me, and they all commented on how much calmer I am. I don't find things, like exams, as stressful as they used to be. Doing the course has helped me to realise that things are meant to be, but I have control over how I would like to see them develop in the best way for me. I'm more relaxed, more willing to face things and sort them out instead of walking away. This is something we learned on the course. Walking away from something doesn't necessarily solve any problems, all it does is build up a store of negative resentment, resentment that surfaces the next time you find yourself in a conflict situation. Sure, you may need time out, to assess a situation, to cool down, but then it's a good idea to take positive steps towards sorting it out.

The first part of the course concentrated on personal growth, helping us to see that we need to know more about ourselves before we can mediate between other people or be available for them to come to us with their problems. We then learned how to cope with arguments and fights, and how to make sure that our peers felt comfortable talking to us. In the last session we role-played and gave each other feedback on our abilities. We rated each other on the skills we had learned during the course, and how well we had used them in the role play situation. We rated on
• how comfortable we made people feel;
• how well we reflected feelings;
• how well we reflected the problems in the given situation; and
• how good our overall counselling skills were.

We marked our peers on a scale of 1 - 5, with 1 being the highest rating. My peers rated me with three 1s and a 2.

During the course we were put into groups with people we didn't know well at all. The people in my group were not my friends, but by the time the course ended, I had made a group of new, good friends. Now we meet, chat and SMS each other regularly! Each group had to make a mascot, and we called ours Nanawacis, an acronym of the first names of all the girls in the group (with a few vowels added in!)

We haven't started to work as peer counsellors yet. We'll take over from the counsellors who leave at the end of this year. In the meantime though, we've formed a Peer Counselling group and had a cake sale. We'll use the proceeds for Orientation Day, when the new Grade 8s arrive at the school. We're going to buy prizes for a games day, let them have some fun, and show them that senior school isn't as scary as it seems.

Although I haven't counselled anyone yet, I have experienced how effective the peer counselling system is. When I was in Grade 8, I encouraged a friend of mine to talk to one of the peer counsellors. She was cutting herself, and I thought whoa, this is too big for me to handle. She was battling to settle in at school, and she had other problems as well. Finally she spoke to a peer counsellor and she was able to sort things out.

Something like that, having to counsel someone who is cutting herself, is a big issue. It's important to know the correct procedure.
• We have to create an atmosphere which is non-judgemental so that the person who comes to see us feels free to talk and express herself.
• We break the problem down into all the parts. For example, the girl's parents may be in the middle of a divorce, she may be battling with schoolwork, she may feel she doesn't fit in.
• We create an atmosphere of friendship, one where the person feels that we're there for her, to see her through as she comes to terms with the problems she's experiencing.
• We look at the various ways in which the problem could be sorted out; we evaluate each of them together and look at what the possible results of any action might be.
• Then it's a case of choosing the option that will work best. Here, it's up to the person who has the problem to find the solution that will work best for her. We can't tell her what to do.

It's quite scary, quite a responsibility, but we have to trust the process and know that the decision a person takes is the best one for them according to their situation. The main idea behind all of this is to provide people with someone to whom they can talk. Someone whom they feel will understand.

If we feel that a problem is too big for us to deal with on our own, we can speak to the guidance counsellor at any time. We do this without giving the girl's name, and ask for advice on what to say to her and what to suggest. In a situation like this we can also encourage the girl to see the counsellor, and often, after they have talked things through with us, they are prepared to do this.

The peer counselling system is one that works really well. Many girls have problems and worries that they feel are too small to bother the school counsellor with. It's good for them to know that there is someone to talk to. Many teenagers feel that they aren't heard - by their parents, or their teachers. Sometimes they feel they have issues they can't discuss with their friends. If they feel secure, and know they can talk to a peer counsellor, this helps.

One thing that is vital in all peer counselling sessions is that everything we are told remains confidential. Tremendous trust is placed in us, and we have to prove ourselves worthy of that trust. During one of our training sessions, Bernie, our facilitator, role-played a situation in which she showed the result of a peer counsellor betraying the trust put in her. The role-play was incredibly effective and it put us in the shoes of someone whose trust had been abused.

There's quite a lot of fighting in any school. Some of the fights are really vicious, some of them are arguments that started over something small and have blown up out of all proportion. When there is a fight, we speak to both of the parties involved, at the same time. In this way each person can hear everything being said, and each can hear what the other person feels. If we feel the need, if for example we are talking to two very upset girls, we can call on another peer counsellor to be there. We all work together, to see the chain of events that led up to the problem, to get people talking to each other, not screaming.

Bullying is another issue at school, and it's as prevalent in girls' schools as it is in boys'. Once again, a peer counsellor would get both people together, the person being bullied and the bully. Often, the person who bullies is insecure and feels the need to prove herself by being really mean. There's a great deal of emphasis placed on peer pressure in schools, but bullying is an equally big problem.

Fighting is such a waste of time and energy, this is something that was brought home to me in a big way during the course. When I find myself being drawn into an argument, or starting one because I've had a bad day and I want to take my frustrations out on someone else, I try to practise some of the techniques we were given. One of them is to go to my secret garden. We spent a long time imagining this place during one of the training sessions - where it is, what it looks like. It's a place that belongs to us only. When I visit my secret garden, I feel calm, more in control, and things don't seem as bad. Another really brilliant exercise we did was taking an imaginary walk up an imaginary mountain. At the top of the mountain, sitting next to a fire, we found the Wise One. We talked to the Wise One and before leaving, were given a special gift. We had to imagine this gift. I know what mine is. I'm not sure what it means yet, but one day, something will happen, and I'll understand why I was given it and how I should use it.

If you would like to find out more about the Youth Development Programme, please phone Bernie at the Bishop Lavis Centre : 021 934 4822

If you would like to make a donation to LifeLine/Childline Western Cape's Youth Development Programme, please click here.

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