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Tina has a degree in psychology and social work
and works as a social worker for Childline. She
is mainly involved in counselling children who
have been victims of sexual abuse and rape. As
well as this, she deals with referrals for bereavement
counselling, and for trauma debriefing. Most of
the latter involve victims of sexual abuse and
rape.
To work in a field like
this, you need to be absolutely passionate about
the work you do. You have to want to help children
who have been hurt ... it is wonderfully rewarding
to see a child heal.
Tina
‘Obviously the age of the client determines the
type of therapy needed, but so do their circumstances
– for example one individual might cope better
in a group, another may need more intensive one-on-one
counselling. Where the child involved is very
young, I use play therapy techniques which are
also very beneficial to older children once their
possible resistance to it is overcome. Often,
older children and adolescents prefer to talk
… So much depends, as I said, on the individual,
and their degree of developmental and emotional
maturity.
‘Again, according to circumstances, the length
of time that a child is in therapy can differ,
from anything between 8 - 20 sessions. Even after
a child has terminated formal counselling, we
never turn them away should they feel the need
to talk. We practise an open-door policy, and
welcome anybody who needs our services. This is
important as far as the child’s growth is concerned.
For example, while a child of three might receive
adequate counselling at the time of an incident,
that same child might require further counselling
years down the line, and at that time her issues
will be different and will require a different
approach.
‘This is one of the things we explain to parents.
Abuse isn’t something that goes away - the impact
remains with the child forever, and different
issues connected to the abuse will emerge as the
child grows older. Especially if there is no adult
they can trust, or if issues aren’t resolved immediately
after the abuse happens. So much abuse happens
within the family - a father, stepfather, grandfather,
uncle ... or otherwise the abuser is known to
the child - a family friend, someone in the church,
or at school. Stats show that in 85-90% of abuse
cases, the child is abused by someone they know.
Only 20-50% cases are reported to the relevant
authorities.
A person never stands
so tall as one who kneels to
help a child.
Anon
Where possible we work with the family, giving
information and support to caregivers and parents.
When parents do attend counselling sessions, we
learn, often, that they too were abused as children.
So support for the whole family becomes a very
important issue. Often, a mother may know something
is happening to her child, but doesn’t speak up.
Or a child tries to say something and is not believed
- at Childline we have learned that children seldom
lie when it comes to abuse. Any allegation of
abuse by a child should and must be taken very
seriously. Most sexual abusers, in our experience,
are male, and not female.
‘Perpetrators are often very clever, and plan
their molestation carefully. They embark on a
grooming process, using gifts and progressing
from one type of touch to another. They use threats,
frightening the child about what might happen
if they tell someone. Children don’t have the
same choices as adults, and often they don’t have
the language to express their feelings and fears.
There are cases where the mother may allow continued
contact with the perpetrator, and so it becomes
even more difficult for the child to speak out.
Sexual abuse of children now presents society
with the ultimate crisis of patriarchy, when children
refuse to protect their fathers by keeping secrets.
(Beatrix Campbell (b. 1947), British journalist
‘Roughly 50 children are counselled per week
at the Childline centre in Wynberg - we have two
full time counsellors, a Referral Officer who
also carries a half case load and our Manager
who also counsels children. Generally, we do not
terminate counselling until the child has resolved
the issues connected to abuse. As counselling
progresses, symptoms do tend to improve, although
there are some children whom we refer for assessments
to places such as the Red Cross Children’s hospital
or William Slater Hospital, if they need psychiatric
help. Persistent tummy aches and headaches are
symptoms that need to be looked at - to see whether
they are genuine physical ailments or psychosomatic
symptoms springing from the abuse.
‘When it comes to identifying sexual abuse, parents,
caregivers and teachers should be aware of changes
in behaviour. The list of things to look out for
can’t be given in black and white, but the common
indicators are nightmares, sleeping problems,
eating problems, extreme anxiety, difficulty in
concentrating, depression, anger, fighting at
school, not wanting to go to school, not wanting
to be with certain people, bruising, discharge,
stained clothing, pregnancy, stomach aches, headaches,
sexually transmitted diseases, bedwetting, soiling,
inappropriate sexual knowledge or behaviour, (this
often comes out in play therapy with dolls) sexual
acting out on other children, guilt, low self
esteem, a sudden change in personality, becoming
isolated, introverted, not trusting. Some teenagers
turn to prostitution, some equate sex with love
and become extremely promiscuous, others won’t
allow anyone to touch them. These indicators do
not necessarily mean that the child has been sexually
abused, however a child who displays any of these
symptoms needs to be helped, no matter what the
root cause may be.
‘It is difficult to give figures for the rate
of conviction - if a child does press charges,
it can take as long as two years before the case
comes to court. Ideally, a child should enter
therapy after he or she has testified, but we
can’t afford to wait two years - extreme behaviours
could develop during this time. We have to act
in the best interests of the child, and so we
counsel as quickly as possible. This is a pity,
as the child who is called to testify then has
to relive the trauma later down the line.
‘Whatever happens - the child must be believed.
And, no matter how difficult it may be for the
adult in whom they confide, that adult should
remain calm and supportive. Otherwise a child,
for fear of say, upsetting Mom, may not disclose
everything that has happened to them. They may
also feel as though they were the one that did
something wrong due to the adult’s initial reaction
to the disclosure.
‘It’s also important to encourage children to
ask questions - to let them see that adults aren’t
necessarily always right - if children believe
that adults are always in the right we create
a wonderful environment for the sexual abuser
to operate within. The best advice I can give
to parents and caregivers is to encourage an open
and honest relationship with their children. And
always give them the correct information.
‘Support groups for adults survivors of sexual
abuse are also essential. Otherwise people fall
through the gaps, especially those in the 18-20
year age category.
‘It’s hard to talk about ‘success’ stories when
it comes to a child being sexually abused. However,
I can tell of children where resolution has happened.
One little girl was raped as a baby by her biological
father. She was having terrible nightmares and
didn’t want to sleep on her own. He continued
to rape her, until one day her mother walked in
on them. She immediately phoned the police, laid
charges against the father and came to Childline
for support. By the time the little girl, aged
eight, had been for 10 counselling sessions, her
sleeping patterns had improved, she could play
on her own and sleep in her own bed. She worked
through feelings of anger, started behaving better
at school, and could concentrate better.
Fifty years from now,
it will not matter what kind of car you drove,
what kind of house you lived in, how much you
had in your bank account, or what your clothes
looked like, But the world may be a little better
because you were important in the life of a child.
Anon
‘To work in a field like this, you need to be
absolutely passionate about the work you do. You
have to want to help children who have been hurt.
It’s impossible not to become emotionally involved
with the children I counsel, but I am given very
good support by Childline. I see an external therapist,
and we have group supervision here at Childline,
our centre supervisor is always available to discuss
cases, we are given extremely good leave - time
off, holidays - otherwise the threat of burnout
would be very high. We have a very long waiting
list - it all boils down to resources - we need
more staff!
‘Often Childline offers the only support a child
will receive. We are non-judgemental, we listen,
and it is wonderfully rewarding to see a child
heal. Sometimes children come back to see us,
but not often. We encourage them to stand on their
own, not to become too dependent - they need to
find their strengths - we believe in them, and
they are empowered.’
For further information, contact
the Childline Centre on
+27 (0)21 762 8198
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